I am 25 years Female. I just got married recent ga oka proper arranged marriage my parents who are very conservative looked at 100s of matches finally ee abbayitho fixed ayyaru. USA lo unnadu contractor job antadu decent family decent looks and above all chala manchi vibes ichadu starting lo. Nenu kuda emotionally prepared lekapote kuda I said ok.
Because he was so understanding when we first came to US first night ayyaka. He was like relax cheddam first we should get to know each other more ila matladadu “let’s be like boyfriend girlfriend first” and honestly I thought wow idhi rare very rare aa too sweet and caring ani felt chesa. I told my mom also amma he’s different but slowly koncham weird ga anipinchadam start ayyindi.
Like his shift was 9 to 5 antaru but he used to leave late come back super late like 1AM or even later. When I asked he used to say “meetings” and “emergency calls” and “projects India lo kuda handle chestunna” ani random ga chepevadu. But oka roju while I was near him he was on his phone and I saw this app logo I didn’t recognise and I just casually asked what is that anni.
He said oh adhi recruitment app aa nenu workers ki job ivvadam kosam use chestha. US lo ila platform lo manchi blue collar workers dorukutaaru ani cheppadu and I was like ok. May be he’s really busy with contracts and stuff but the app name stayed in my head. Its Grindr ani undhi I googled that night and I swear my heart came to my mouth when I saw what it really was.
It’s a gay dating app for two days I didn’t eat properly for three nights. I didn’t sleep I couldn’t even cry properly I was thinking maybe I saw it wrong maybe I misunderstood maybe he just downloaded it for something else. May be someone else installed it maybe something something something but then oka random day I opened his phone (I know it’s wrong but sorry trust issues started).
And it was there same app and he was logged in and he was like browsing or swiping or whatever it is and I swear my hands were shaking. I didn’t say anything instead I did something maybe stupid but I downloaded the same app in my phone. I thought let me see this for myself I’ll know what it really is maybe there is some chance he’s not lying.
I just wanted any reason to believe it was all ok but the moment I opened it I saw what it was. I saw people, I saw bios, I saw the nature of chats. I saw the location pins and I realized he’s not on it for recruitment he’s not looking for workers he’s on it. Because he wants something else and then came the worst part every day I kept hoping praying maybe he’ll come clean.
May be he’ll sit me down and tell the truth. May be he’ll say sorry or explain or cry or Confess or anything but no every night he came back same lies same “meetings” same fake tired face same everything and every morning I woke up and checked that app and he was online sometimes. I felt like screaming but I didn’t because I don’t even know who I’m screaming at naa parents ki cheppa ledu naa friends ki cheppa ledu.
This is the first time I’m sharing my Confession in this website. I just don’t understand naku cheppadam kuda ledu okka sari ledu that he’s not into women or that he wants an open marriage or that he’s figuring himself out. I swear I would have handled that better than these lies.
I dont know what do now if I should confront him about it or just mug it up and continue the marriage for my parents sake. Because vallu tattukoleru idanta chepthe please help guys I need to get out of this somehow.
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