Please post this. Pichi lestundi past few months ga. Judge all you want but Atleast few helpful comments/suggestions vasthadi ani hope. Sorry for the long Confessions. Story koncham long ga untundi as it’s 7 years of my life. Nenu US ki 2017 lo vachanu to a university in Texas. My family India lo well settled and so I didn’t had to work at all to support myself. I was 24 years female then and introvert ni.
College lo oka classmate telugu abbayi starting lo chala help chesadu to settle and adjust in Texas. Over the next few months, we grew closer and then he proposed. Ma nanna chala orthodox and paruvu kosam bathike person. Ivanni explain chesa tanaki and he said he will talk to my father and will take care of everything. So tana proposal accept chesa. Chala sarlu kiss or hug ani force chesevadu but naku istam undedi kadu.
He used to get upset but was understanding still. We only hugged 3 or 4 times in our relationship. Maa 1 year relationship lo tanaki financial ga chala support kuda chesa (almost 15k USD dakka). Once graduate ayaka naku verai state lo job vachindi through a consultancy. Lucky ga office colleagues kontha mandi ammaila thonai room share lo unde danini. Kotha job lo join ayyaka kuda tanaki monthly vesthu undedanni.
After few months I came to know that he is in relationship with someone else in texas and naa money use cheskoni vallu akada enjoy chestunarani. When I confronted him, he said he needs a physical commitment. Chala depress ayyipoyanu. Inka 1 week office ki leave petti intlone edustu undedanni. Suicidal thoughts vachayi even hands kuda koskune time ki roommate chusi apesindi.
Inka 10 days tharuvatha office ki vella apudu vere team lo oka telugu athanu (Ram) vachi random ga matladatam start chesadu. Chudataniki chala normal ga untadu. Almost daily desk dagarki 4 to 5 times vachi random ga matladevadu. Slowly I used to feel comfortable with him and we used to hangout after work. Tana personal life details chala takkuva share chesevadu. He used to talk about random stuff or ask me about my life.
He is a TFI banisa type person and loves Chiranjeevi. Aa time lo US lo release ayyina almost every telugu movie ki tesukellai vadu. He got me out of my depression and I opened up a lot to him. He even made me say telugu curse words as a joke. Tanu parichayam aina 3 months lo okasari kuda flirt cheyala or misbehave cheyaledu. I liked his character alot and one fine evening nenu tanaki propose chesa. He rejected saying tanu nannu friend lagane chustuna ani.
He even said he is trying to get me out of suicidal thoughts. Naki aa rejection vachaka Ventane block chesi matldatam apesa. He tried talking to me in office but nenu complete ga ignore chesedanni. Around that time I came to know that he already has a girlfriend. Out of desperation, I asked him if he is ready to leave her and enter into relationship with me ani. He got angry and seriously said NO.
Appati nundi he stopped talking with me. We became strangers again. After a month or so he went on a week trip to his girlfriend’s place. Same time lo ma father marriage proposal testhe kopam lo accept chesesa. 1 month lo India ki velli marriage cheskoni complete ga husband city ki shift ayanu. Ela kopam tho marriage cheskotam entha tappo telisindi. Edo paruvu kosam chesina marriage lo happiness undadu ani artham aindi.
Pelliki mundu 1 month matladina person ki and pelli aina tharuvatha kapuram chestunna person ki asalu sambandam ledu. He is very controlling. Idaram office ki velli work chestunna sare house duties anni nene cheyali. Basic help kuda cheyadu. I told him before marriage that I am an introvert and time padutundi to open up ani. Pelli ayyi USA ki vachina tharuvatha it took a while for us to get physical with me. Kani naa husbannd ki Erectile Dysfunction undi.
We tried multiple times but it was never hard enough to have sex. Enni sarlu chepina sare doctor ni consult cheyaledu and moreover chala kopade vadu. Due to his Erectile Dysfunction , insecurity and trust issues vachayi tanaki na paina. Na phone lo ewaritho chat chesina chustadu and calls vasthai speaker lone matladamantadu even with my parents. Na whatsapp web tana laptop lo sign-in chesi chustadu na chats anni.
Naku unna social media apps anni tana phone lo sign chesi pettukunadu. Nenu 1$ spend chesina sare explanation ichukovali tanaki. Loveless and sexless marriage valla couples laga kante rommates laga ayyipoyindi maa life. Inka covid lo aithe evari life valladi laga undedi. I felt like a maid who earns money for him and does all his chores. Ma parents ki emana chepali ani chusina sare em use ledu. Vallaki paruvu tappa nenu important kadu.
Both families nanne adugutaru kids epudu ani. Emani chepali vallaki. Ela chepali. Inka naa bathuku inthe ani fix aipoya. Few months back, maa husband valla friend house warming ki verai city ki vellam. It’s a bit remote place and so valla friend valla friend house lo stay ki arrange chesaru. Airport lo land ayaka chuste pick cheskotaniki Ram vachadu. Chala casual ga asalu parichayam lenatte behave chesadu. Valla house ki vellaka tana wife and 6 month kids ni introduce chesadu.
My hubby left me there while he and ram went outside to help their friend with the house warming work. They were out for almost that entire day. Meanwhile valla wife tho normal converstion chestu time pass chesanu. Suddenly she mentioned that she knew about me and her hubby. Apparently Ram told to her wife everything about me long back itself. I said I felt betrayed as I thought of him as a friend and he spoke to me out of pity ani.
Then she mentioned something that was shocking. Aparently Ram valla father suicide cheskoni chanipoyaru ani. Andukai he tried to help people ani. Naku asalu mind blank ayyipoyindi. I felt like an idiot who didn’t wait for him to explain. Aa roju oka 5 mins tanu explanation vini untai naa life chala better ga undedi. Next 2 days my view on Ram changed completely. He is a very caring husband and father. Intlo panulu annitiki help chestadu and literally tana wife ni oka rani la chuskuntadu.
Tana wife kitchen lo emana clean chestunte ventane velli help chestadu. Ivanni chuste asalu naa life paina naku virakthi vachestundi. House warming ayyina evening tana house lo maku small party la ichadu as we were leaving that next day morning. Ram and maa husband few drinks tagaru. His wife and baby slept early. Aa night nidra pataka kitchen lo velthe, I saw him cleaning dishes in kitchen. Atfer 3 days tanatho proper ga matlade chance vachindi.
I said I am sorry and cried while hugging him. He said he’s sorry too. We spoke for almost an hour. Chala days tharuvatha I felt lighter. It felt like taking a ton of weight out off my chest. Inka good night cheppi velle time ki I hugged him again for almost 10 minutes without uttering a word. I don’t know what happened then but I went to kiss him. But he stepped back and said don’t do anything that you might regret later.
He said that he loves his wife way too much to do stupid things. Malla tanaki sorry chepi velli padukunna. Next day morning he dropped me off and send us off with a formal goodbye. Idhi jarigi almost few months ayyindi. Return vachina day nundi naku asalu peace ledu. Somehow I feel that I deserve that life. Naku aa happiness kavali. Tana wife life chustunte naku jealousy ostundi. I dont know why but I feel like I should be in that place (Sorry akka if you are seeing this).
Even when I tried to kiss him he rejected cause of the love towards his wife. Naku ila okallu untaru ani kuda teliyadu. But na valla avvadam ledu. I am not able to live my current life and at the same time not able to stopping thinking about that life. Pichi lestundi asalu. Mix of emotions. Slow ga Ram ee naa husband ani mind lo padipotundi . I am even praying for his wife to leaving him so that I can take her place. Therapy tesukundham ante US lo chala costly undi and Indian therapist evaritho ayyina matladali ante na hubby oppukovatledu.
Tanu kuda naa therapy session vintanu pakana nundi antunadu. Evariki chepali telidu, ela chepalo telidu. Mind anthe disturbed ga undi. Nannu judge or comment chestha ante cheyandi but atleast oka useful suggestion ivandi.
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